#2

Rereading my post from yesterday I noticed exactly how negative I was being about my chances of becoming a professional writer. Now that I’m on the upswing from my morning coffee instead of the after lunch comedown I’m feeling much more positive about the whole idea.

Or at least less negative…

Let’s just say this morning I feel as if it could be a soft maybe.

So, going back to the hippy roots of my early 20’s I’m going to fake having a bright and positive outlook on things, this time not to try to increase my chances of getting laid after a Phish show, but to see if that whole “fake it ’til you make it” thing could work. Unlike it did earlier in my life. I usually remained woefully unlaid.

Anyway, here is a list of reasons I may be able to make it as a professional writer:

  1. Genetic Lottery Winner – I was born straight, white, and male in a first world country. The amount of advantages that gives me right out the gate is enough to make anyone not born a straight white male sick to their stomach just thinking about it. Like seriously… I’m sorry.
  2. I’m a Natural and Creative Story Teller – I think that’s what people are trying to express when they tell me how full of shit I am.
  3. I’m Well Traveled – …for growing up in a trailer in South Carolina.
  4. I’m Veracious Reader – So I know what a book is supposed to look like and that’s a plus.
  5. I Have An Unusual Name – According to the internet I’m the only recorded human that has ever existed on the planet with my particular name. I think that right there should give me some kind of advantage. Also why I avoid using my real name on the web.
  6. I Live With An Excellent Editor – My wife is mad smart. Also she has multiple degrees in the kinds of things that would land you a job as an editor.
  7. I Think Outside of the Box – Because of the Phish shows I mentioned above. If you don’t understand right away just think about it… Fine, I dropped acid a couple of times when I was younger. A week. A Couple of times a week. No permanent damage though.
  8. I Think Outside of the Box – Because of the Phish shows I mentioned above. If you don’t understand right away just think about it… Fine, I dropped acid a couple of times when I was younger. A week. A Couple of times a week. No permanent damage though.
  9. I Can Be Funny – Like numbers 7 and 8. Y’all see what I did there! Did you get it?!? It’s funny!
  10. I Enjoy Writing – So even if I never get paid to do it I’m still going to have a good time.

Yup. That about sums it up.

 

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